My life... how much can I say.... It's been a long and winding road and seems I've still got miles to go. But here I am I guess I would say at a road block or no a fork in the road with both roads under construction. Have you ever been there. No matter which path you take it is going to be slow and you never know when traffic is going to come to a complete halt.
Should I turn back? Sometimes I think I would if I could; then I look at the precious faces of my 2 kids in the back seat and think how could I even think that. Ok enough with the background imagery. How did I get here…
How We Met…
I met my husband online over 10 years ago. Now it seems
natural so many people now a days find their significant others online. 10
years ago, it wasn’t quiet the same. I remember seeing him in an MSN Chatroom,
his name back then was Chistoso. We
talked he had some bizarre questions.. ok not bizarre I guess sexual in nature.
Never had anyone talk to me like that before, so piqued my interest and I
answered. We continued talking. We talked almost daily he was ex-military, he
was even stationed at the small town I lived in at the time. Wow he knew the
little hick town I still called home. Then we made plans for me to visit him. I
lived in TX, he in WA State. I booked a flight for Spring Break. I let my
mother know what I was doing. Oh my she did not like my plans. But I was an
adult and she couldn’t stop me. I boarded the flight and headed to Spokane.
Face-to-Face
Plane landed, he was waiting…. Back then pre-9/11 he could
meet me at the gate. Can’t remember initial meet… But I remember the small tour
of Spokane, on foot and using public transportation. While waiting at the
busstop for the trip back to his place… We kissed, and kissed and kissed it was
cold out this was a great way to keep warm we got to his apartment and we had
sex, or was it making love. Don’t know for me it was wonderful. I was hooked…
That week in WA was wonderful. I cried when we had to say goodbye. He too had
tears in his eyes.
Back Home & Plans
So back at home, we continued talking then making plans for
him to move back to TX. During this time I had told my mother I was moving out
of her house and renting an apt. She wasn’t too pleased about it but she knew
it was time to let go. . In October he
made his trek to TX. He didn’t let his mother know until he was heading out of
town, so with U-Haul packed and ready to go, he drove to his mother’s and let
her know he was leaving and moving to TX. I had taken out a loan and sent it to
him for the move. He at the time was unemployed. Maybe that should have been a
warning sign maybe warning sign #2. From the time I met him to the time he left
WA, he had gone through 3-4 jobs. This was from what Dec-Oct. But at the time
it didn’t matter. He got to TX and it was wonderful…. But it really didn’t
last.
Life Together
He found a job with the local phone company. Big employer in
our little town. During that time we were able to rent a small house by the
University I was attending & his job. Then trouble began. He found an
internet girlfriend. I knew things were going wrong, but I worked nights, him days.
But I could feel him pushing away. One day I came home early, I felt bad one of
his pets had gotten out the door and we could not find him. I went to the
computer room and saw scantily clad photos of a girl and an open chat. I was
furious. Later I found more evidence and demanded he end it or leave. He ended
the relationship. Not too soon after he
had to find another job. I can’t remember what happened either it was a
contract position or he was removed. But it wasn’t too long before he got
another temp job with the same phone company but a different office. Soon after
I applied for same position and was also hired. There I made more money and we
both had the same hours. Then things started going wrong again. Everytime I
passed his desk, he would quickly switch screens. I got very suspicious. We
started couples counseling. Found out he was talking dirty to a friend of a
friend. Not too long after that, he was let go. We were not supposed to use
internet at this office. And they bundled in Email as internet. I also used
email in the same office, my supervisor called me into the office same day to
warn me about use of the internet. I denied being told we were not allowed to
use email. In my mind, email and internet are entirely different entities. When
they said use of interent was prohibited, I didn’t think they were talking
about email. So why did I get a warning and he get fired? Til this day I
believe it was the fact that the emails he was sending were private in nature.
I used it for business. But he found another temp job and we made plans to move
to Dallas Fort Worth Area. I was to attend the Art Institute in Dallas. In
December, I found a job with same phone company and transferred.
Welcome to Dallas/Fort Worth
Continued next post...
